Why He Won’t Marry You
For me and for you…
by Heather Lindsey
So, I’ve seen so many worldly blogs and articles on this subject, I figured I would clear it all up and talk to you like your sister in Christ.
Maybe you’re single, or dating someone and you want to get married. But homeboy is taking forever. Your girlfriend probably told you that you need to give a certain “look”, flirt around, “put yourself out there”, go online & date or whatever else. WHY he won’t marry you is for so many reasons, including your PROTECTION.
1. He’s not 100% sold on you. For him, there may be a ton of other fishes in the sea and he’s not totally sold on you. So he’ll drag you along forever without giving you a ring and telling you that you need to be “this” or “that” before he marries you. It’s all based in some stupid condition. Lets all be clear– you can lose everything 2 days after you get married so it can’t be based on some material or condition. Marriage is supposed to last forever.
2. The non-committed. This non-committer knows that he’s a “good” catch so he’s not going to totally commit to you because as his career, degree or whatever else grows.. he needs to make sure that you’re good enough to go where he’s going (or good arm-candy). Which is sad again– and based on a ton of conditions. If he doesn’t see the amazing in you, help his way to the door & wave goodbye.
3. Free milk. Are you giving them’ goodies up? WHY would he run & marry you if you are giving him all your goodies, playing house, sleeping with him.. as you cook, clean and do his laundry. I mean.. why would he need to get a marriage license when you do all of those things with your maiden name?
4. God’s timing. Well, you weren’t supposed to wake “up” this Adam– and he’s a random. God is really closing this door. You’re sad, trying to MAKE it work and everything else.. but it just is NOT working and.. you wished that it would. You try to do everything he wants you to do & please him but no matter what, God still closes your little relationship door.
5. The Visionary. This guy.. wants his career 100% together, and all of his ducks totally in LINE before he thinks about marriage and a family. He doesn’t want to take on the responsibility of YOU if.. he feels like his career hasn’t jumped off. My question to him would be.. “WHO IS YOUR SOURCE?!” If you know that you’re supposed to be together, been courting for awhile.. stop waiting for money to come in to help your decision. PAINT your picture together. Again, what happens if you lose your job as soon as you get back from the honeymoon? So you waited FOREVER, played around, rubbed, touched, dishonored God while dating.. finally got the job.. got married and lost it all. It’s WORLDLY. That whole mind-set is of the WORLD. We are to be led by GOD daily so if God showed you your girl, marry her already & figure it out & grow together.
6. Sorta-Christian. This man isn’t totally sold on God & sure isn’t being led by Him. I’m not even sure why you would wanna marry this fool but I have to put this in. This guy doesn’t understand the marriage between Christ & His Church or “dying” to yourself so he’s selfish. He says, ” I aint ready to get married”, goes to the club, looks at women’s behinds everytime they walk by. This guy is carnal and is vocal about not wanting to marry you. Please, let him go already.
7. The Married Man. Yup, Had to put this one in– he may not marry you because he is STILL legally married to his WIFE. This man is on the rebound & searching for someone to affirm him again and get what he couldn’t get from his wife. He could be going back & forth with his first wife.. messing with her & you. IF you wanna court this man.. he needs some time to himself after the divorce to get whole. Period. Don’t be his little void-filler.
8. Flirt. The flirt won’t marry you because he craves the attention of so many other women.. just getting it from you would be boring. So, he’ll end up married at about 40 or 50 because by then it will get old. He likes the idea of communicating to you with no commitment & pretending like something will be there that never will be.
9. The Baby-Daddy. Homeboy has like 5 kids by 5 different baby mamas. I’m not clear on why you think he’ll marry you but he didn’t marry them? Please. Move on.
10. The Liar. This man wouldn’t marry you because he’s so busy lying to you & everyone else while holding a secret life as a down-low brother, with other women, at strip clubs while up in the church, Praising the Lord. He’s torn with his life and cannot figure out how to really give his whole heart to Christ so he lives this lie. He is not confident in leading you because he doesn’t believe he’s really led by God.
So.. how do we avoid the above? WHEN we spend TIME with God daily, HE shows us the hearts of ALL men (including YOURSELF & where YOU need to change). The thing is, we have to start LISTENING to when GOD is leading & guiding our lives!! At some point, we have to start doing OUR part. Let’s start now. Cut off any of the above. Get quiet before God & whole. You don’t wanna marry the above, you want to marry God’s best for YOU. Sometimes, we stick around.. hoping that they will change. Don’t marry an expectation that you can change someone because you cannot. THEY have to want to change & you may wait a lifetime for that to happen.
Praying for you.
God loves you like crazy,