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To Brooklyn or Not to Brooklyn: the Abusive Lover known as NYC

I spent about 36 of the last 48 hours agonizing over whether or not I wanted to give up my Brooklyn apartment. I’m over New York, the abusive boyfriend who is the kind of beautiful of Idris Elba and Prison Bae combined. He punches you in the gut when you least expect it, but is always there to nurse the wounds he causes, massaging your back and deeking you down without warning.

After many years of praying some immediate family would join me in this jungle, now three of my siblings live here, and I’ve fallen out of love. Fortunately for me, I can likely impose on them and other family and close friends if and when I choose to visit.

I’ve held onto my beloved duplex apartment while grad-schooling in CT, but it’s seeming less and less worth it. So…I’m keeping a running tally of reasons to leave and not to leave. Feel free to add your own by commenting.

Reasons not to move back to NY

1. Stress

2. Random guys going on diatribes on the train

3. Woman with excessive dandruff on the train

4. Bitches who push you to get to the stairs…in the subway or anywhere really

5. Random terror attacks

6. NYPD racists

7. Isolation

8. Everyone is obsessed with building their brand at the expense of having genuine relationships

9. Everyone is pretending they’re more successful and happier than they actually are

10. You never know if your seat on the train / subway platform was peed on just hours ago

11. Constant commercialization of everything

12. Having to always wear shades so random trash doesn’t blow into my eyes

13. City workers who sit around gossiping about celebrities instead of providing customer service

14. The wet dog smell in the subway on the hottest summer days

15. Gorgeous old buildings whose gas pipes burst at a moment’s notice

16. Overpriced apartments in neighborhoods that lack the soul they once had

17. Working long hours to be able to afford that overpriced apartment

18. Making–and spending–more money than you’ll ever have time to enjoy

19. Focusing on true success that doesn’t involve schmizing or pretense

Reasons to move back

1. ALCC

 

Header photo by Katherine Lorimer
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